Red Letter Day

This morning I had one of my weirdest Lawrence experiences ever. I was having coffee at Z’s chatting with Dave and a friend, and out of nowhere, this elderly gentleman comes up and hands each of us one of the little free KU football schedules that pretty much every business in Lawrence hands out this time of year. The guy then hands us a couple copies of this xeroxed, hand-written screed and says we should read it, and then kind of shuffles away.

This was bizarre enough on its own. I actually kept the sheet to read, hoping I would get to enjoy a good rant about the gold standard, Lyndon LaRouche, and how fluoride in our water supply will cause all our precious bodily fluids to become poisoned, making it easier for the Communists and illegal immigrants to take over.

I mean, it’s not every day you get someone to care enough to write out a manifesto in longhand, old-school style.

Alas, I was disappointed. The sheet, which is reproduced below in all its glory, appears to be a random series of words, strung together in a manner that suggests grammar and sentences, but without actually meaning anything. I’m not kidding…seriously, try to read the text below and make any sense of it.

I'm not sure what this says

Maybe it is a secret code, perhaps pointing the way to Leonardo Da Vinci’s fabled lost invention. You tell me!

Anyway, as Homer Simpson would say, “I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.”