Jimmy Carter's tips for better gas mileage

I was looking up an old post on my blog (back in the good old days when I was popular and every post had 10 comments and the air was cleaner and the liquor stronger) featuring my favorite safe driving tips.

In the same spirit, here are some of my favorite tips for getting better gas mileage and saving money on your daily commute.

Convert your car to "Flintstones mode", allowing for energy efficient braking and acceleration by the courtesy of your big feet (remember to buy shoes with high-quality soles).

Don't let the air in your tires get too low. Inflate your tires as much as possible. Remember that more is always better.

Wind resistance can affect fuel economy. Take advantage of this by rigging your mainsail for favorable trade winds.

Hurricanes can cause higher gas prices. Try to avoid them.

Take the first step in coverting your vehicle to run on biodiesel by saving all your fast food burger wrappers and then wringing them out over your gas tank.

Driving too fast or too slow can hurt fuel economy. Try to keep your car in the "sweet spot" between 48.6 and 48.8 MPH at all times.

Enhance your car's gas intake ratio by consuming plenty of beans and roughage before a long trip.

Your car's mileage can be affected by excess cargo. Remove unused items from the trunk, and really, would it hurt you to lose some weight, tubby?

In spite of what you may have heard, do not take the bus. Those things only get like 8 miles to the gallon.

A fuel with a detergent additive can help clean your car's engine. Pour a gallon of Tide into your tank for extra cleaning power, and reliable stain removal that won't cause your car's colors to fade.